Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
