Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
nutella sex= disaster
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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