What did we do last night that was yellow?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
