my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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