1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
