You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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