I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
