Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
