I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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