Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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