my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
