Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
