this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
