So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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