I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Of course I have a pirate flag
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