Jerry, you need to find god
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
True strength comes from lack of pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
