I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
