thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
