The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
