you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
