It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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