is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
