He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
