i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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