is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
