If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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