Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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