just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
