he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
