is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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