And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
