I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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