the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you inspire me to be a worse person
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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