and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
