don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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