what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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