she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
