Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
