I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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