I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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