i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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