lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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