pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
