Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
