Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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