If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
