I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
