im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
