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Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
