I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
