I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
