I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
