Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
