I need help removing her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
