Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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