wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
